Its been a good ride.. 3 years of so much of fun, so much of life, so much of everything, so much of thanfullness and so much of God’s grace.
The first two years did not have so much of a effect, but today as I started my day, my thoughts went back to the bed I lay in, with tubes around me, machines beeping away and in the center of my chest, the stitches where the doctors had just finished creating a bypass graft in my heart.
It did not seem scary at all. Somehow, it felt like a walk in the park. Driving to the hospital, getting to know that I had a heart attack after the Trop T test, getting vial after vial of morphine and then getting to know that this was going to take a few days of tests and surgery and what not.
My first concern was : how the fuck do i get leaves now ? what will happen to the projects I am managing? who is going to answer the 8 odd countries I was supporting? So many thoughts of how I was going to keep my job !! That was probably some of the things that really got me thinking of what to do.
May day came.. the machines lit up and it was interesting to see the probe find its way through my blood stream, beside my heart where it hit a wall. ! We found the problem. The RCA was jammed and the term used was ” total occlusion”. It was something similar to Bonnie Tyler sing ” total eclipse of my heart” . It was an interesting junction to be at, to stare right into my doctor’s face and wonder what story he was going to cook, what kind of bills I was going to look at and what kind of escape plan I needed to work out !
Apparently moving into the critical care unit was the next step. They were going to use a blood thinner on me that was so effective that even if i grazed my skin anywhere outside, I would bleed to death, so CCU was the only option where the room rent itself made my blood pump faster. Getting admitted on your own is like going to Goa with your own money and then not wanting to get bankrupt. I was in that same situation. I did not want to find myself in such a situation, but then I had this total eclipse of my heart that was not good news.
2 odd days of CCU later, we go back to Angio. The artery had cleared, but not the opening where the heart sends the bad blood to the lungs for purification. That little opening was still stuck with all the fat and lard of my 32 years that would just not budge. It was time to have another conversation.
This time, we had options. Angioplasty or Bypass surgery. Angioplasty meant a huge expense, a 5-10 year renewal of the stent and all the bills alongside it while the bypass meant that we had a fix for the situation and it was not expensive. Five minutes later, I was signing my own forms for the bypass and met with the surgical team. Quick chatter with the surgeon had a interesting revelation – He was my Dad’s junior. Pretty interesting way to find out how small the world is !
Anyway, long story short, I got the bypass done, I finished my share of the pain and I got back on the saddle… never to look back again ! I got back to office 10 days later and picked up the projects, pieces and puzzles exactly how I had left them. Thankfully, God gave me the strength to resume life as normal as it were, even though just a few days back I was breathing out of a machine.
Life has its own ways of putting one down..but it is all about getting up and getting your ass on the saddle !!
I might not be the cleanest tool in the box, but nonetheless Praise God for all that he has carried me through and continuing to do so.